Day #4; MONALEA BARN, IRELAND~ CREATIVE POTENCY & Noticing my boundaries.
Did not sleep. Energies were moving everywhere during the night...the ancestors enthusiasm for all that will come to be known was palpable.
Most of the women (whom have been studying with Heather) start their days lighting fires. I am not familiar with this, and it peaked my curiosity. In this watery place, lighting your fire each day could be essential! I am not using my fire to ask about “it” so it must be a future lesson for me. LOL
We began by building the lodge from scratch today; clearing space, cutting and bending branches, tying them together as they show us their from. This process LIT ME UP. I was chosen to aid a Fire Keeper in bending the branches that hold and sustain the womb we will sweat in. This process for me was a deep intimacy piece…deeper than a external relationship of intimacy(mother/child or partners or sexual) this experience of intimacy is what HOLDs my “related-ness” in all things. The masculine energy meets and supports the Feminine as the Feminine leads through it’s choice of yielding…never forcing or pushing only moving together as a noticing and honoring of the other(Wow, I hope that is clear ~ Language can be so limiting). If one person or energy were to use force or dominated the the other the branch could/would snap and break leaving us all to begin again. Think about THIS as a “process” or a “philosophy” for life; your personal creative expressions and/or relationships.
The women also came together while building to share and bond as we hand picked Cypress to create a soft floor base for our sweat lodge...giggles and wisdom abound.
I noticed that some where not comfortable with my filming. I felt judgement permeating and more importantly, myself shrinking. Noticing...myself holding what others think vs. what I want and what I feel called to do. I also want to honor others so I film at a distance as you will notice. This energy(not my energy) was following me into my personal sleeping space too so, I was aware and being vigilant for myself and my intentions.
SWEAT TIME! I am positioned in the East…Beginnings, inspirations, expansion…creativity. That’s me! We went deep. I felt a deep flushing of my system and all that remained was still.
Shower, Communal Meal that was delicious and fresh as if I personally grew all the vegetables myself, except the earth in the California (sorry) is not as nutrient rich as this land. Siobhan Galloway was our Chef...and mother earth itself.
Most everyone went out to the local pub this night. I stayed behind... I am not feeling it…wanting so much to release a video tomorrow the 7th of April and the one year anniversary of The Mystic Agent.
As I was measuring and adjusting within my own space with this critical energy around me, the struggle I was facing with my equipment became debilitating too. I could not transfer footage into my computer readily…nor could I upload or download due to band width at our location. Capitulation was facing me. Would I give up? Was this a sign to set everything down for now?
The VERY HAPPY group came in from the Pub and lifted me!!! How I loved their joy! I kept working as my agenting needed to be done. Last to bed…