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Writer's pictureShannon McLaren

HOLDING ON...



HOLDING ON…

I have been holding on, in silence, to a lot of challenges, grief, and uncertainty, some that are mine and some that are not. From witnessing my parents’ health decline to being confronted with uncertainty of what the future holds as I look to the next decade of my life. To heart aches from holding family secrets, which is stifling.


I know I am not alone in this time of uncertainty, holding on to my joy while individual rights are in question. Since Covid, it feels like the world is returning to normal, but there is still a widespread feeling of sadness, loneliness and uncertainty. Each day, I cultivate my connection with the Unified Field through a practice of centering my Human Energy System, from consciousness, moving my body, eating well, and enjoying what I do…and still, lately, something occurs from the outside world that teases me out of that connection with my consciousness and peace. 


I keep hearing this song: “I am not okay” by Jelly Roll, and as it plays, it’s been pulling at my heart. This movement has inspired this blog.


We are shamed about damn near everything we think, feel, or do independently, leaving us feeling more and more isolated. We learned to hide the ideas that inspire us, the thoughts that confuse us, and even a conscious or desperate desire to die is judged. It’s not okay.  So why do many cultures, including ours, teach us to stay silent? The truth is when our thoughts, feelings, and energetic compulsions are squelched and left unexpressed, that action mostly creates illness by suffocation or insanity. 


Cycles of energy are constantly moving to a new place in space ~ this fact is something we can depend on as humans, and it supports each of us when change and struggle happen. This means that this moment won’t last even though we might still feel its residue permeating us and the immediate circumstances. Hold on cause the desperate feelings and thoughts will change as time passes. Most importantly, the energy is reconfiguring your life through these changes to bring you somewhere new. The question is, can you take enough space to heal, learn, and move with the ever-changing situations to recalibrate your system in a good way? This is the meaning of the tower card in Tarot. Everything crumbles so that you may begin over with the newly informed lesson. It’s not okay, but it’s all gonna be alright


In the past, I was an open book, not one to hide anything well. A real talker, I was. As I have matured, I discovered the power of holding information inside of me and riding its waves of disruption as it twists, turns, and morphs into something else as part of the natural energy cycles of becoming. What I am describing is also the creative process. 


Perhaps another message here is to be careful about who and what you open yourself up to. If you ask a question, be willing and prepared to know the answer. Once you engage another by asking questions or sharing your inner thoughts, you are subject to their verbal and energetic responses. Anything can happen!


Mic Drop.

Shock waves.

Shake it off.

Find calm again.


After that, all we can do is learn from it and honor the decisions of others, which can be challenging to accept. Even in death, it is their choice. 


And remember, the choices, words, and behaviors of others are never actually about you.


When you hold on and in, information ~ know why you are doing it because you are creating with how you orient yourself. If you want to make something and develop it, then yes, hold it to your breast for its nurturing and suckling. However, if you hold on to shame or fear, expression will free you. The old saying is brilliantly true, “better out than in” ~ Letting it out, speaking the truth of “what is” happening for you in the present moment moves energy. When you hear your truths, it heals, soothes, and unwinds tension fields, aiding a more harmonious functionality of the Human Energy System. 

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