Updated: Jan 20, 2021
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I can remember being in the 4th grade, afraid to ask the teacher questions out of fear of retribution from her or anyone in the class. The shame of being wrong or looking dumb overwhelmed me and shut me down.
Being raised in an environment that is nurturing, stable, where those who surround you "on the daily" consistently stop and listen to one another without penalty, supports the development of a self-empowered and self-actualized human. How did your family relate to you; Especially your parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins? What happened or is happening around you can not be healed until you heal what's in you.
Approaching one's life from the first-person narration has been frowned upon in some corners of society. You've heard the phrase, "They are so selfish," or the new word "Narcissist" all give the idea that placing oneself above all others is wrong.
If you put your needs first, you are not a Narcissist. A Narcissist means one has excessive admiration for themselves. Placing your priorities before GIFTING your energy to others' wants and needs is what I am speaking about here. Which is WAY DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We ALL respond from first-person perspectives. It's our choice what we give our energy to, even when we put the Community's or Families needs first. The REAL issue is "WHY" we do what we do. What is your motivation?
Izzy said, "Family pays attention to what I do—wanting to make them proud because they gave you something."
Ask yourself the question: Why am I doing this? The honest response will inform your next steps.
There may be a subtle and profound informative feeling that viscerally tells you something is not right...it can come from pressure in our heart,
pain in our digestion, tightening in our back or neck muscles, pain in the head. Our bodies speak the truth of the heart. Can we feel and notice these understated actions within our body and mind?
Why the heart over the head or mind? Because our brain is simply a computer that only knows what we teach it. In contrast, our heart has five times the electromagnetic energy bringing in "impulse intelligence" enlightened by the information's resonance that surrounds us. Those impulses inform the atom and cells that inform our feeling body and then our brain. So, this is personalized information that is different for EVERYONE! It is more specific than winning the lottery! So, throw away those 10 Step books to whatever and begin to learn YOU!
Sit outside of yourself, Witness the self, and reflect on the actions you take and why. A few examples:
Why did I get drunk?
Why did I say yes when I wanted to say no?
Why did I buy that item?
Why do I keep giving when I am not receiving anything in return?
Take into account all you have done! Be THE PERSON with expectations! Drive toward your goals in a balanced way that feels great to you. Take action from a clear mind and a wild heart. Honoring your strength is the path to being REAL.
"I AM ENOUGH," is the mantra for this Episode.
Episode Medicine: Being Real for me - Knowing I can have a conversation around the fact that those boundaries might be moving around on me and I don't have control, I just want to know that I can talk about it. Quoted by Adrian Sothis
All of this self-discovery will help you set boundaries and then realize why you attract certain people.